If i can tell her earlier...

Last weekend, i got a chance to do window shopping with my family..at SOGO but that is not what i want to highlight on this post..

My story begin with this..

Masa aku keluar dari pintu SOGO.. aku terjumpa seorang pak cik tua yang uzur duduk di hujung tangga...he looked helpless...dan tak bermaya...mendayu-dayu suaranya meminta sedekah untuk kelangsungan hidupnya...Hatiku terasa sayu seperti mana mendayunya suara pengemis itu..
Aku akan rasa bertambah sedih kalau melihat ada ibu yang cacat meminta sedekah sambil memeluk anaknya yang tak henti-henti menangis..

Meraih simpati de depan SOGO....

But some people advise me not to give attention on them as usually they are control by syndicates..that is why we will look the same person keeping beggaring at the same place..and if you notice..if their bowls are full with money..they will hide and empty their bowls...

Ok..back to the main story..when i looked to the beggar... suddenly..its reminded me of something that im not proud with what i had did... I felt ashamed with myself as im being so selfish and selfish!!

It happened in early of this month..to be specific..it occurred on Thursday.. ( i remembered as that pasar malam only open on thursday)....The sky started to turn darker and darker..the wind blow even stronger...
(if you guyz want to know..terengganu has a very extreme weather..if it starts to rain..it will rain heavily...i mean really bad!!! and when it starts to getting hotter...hurm.. i hope you guyz can stand with it...because i can't)

Kebanyakan peniaga sudah mula menyimpan semula barang jualan mereka..kemudian aku terserempak dengan seorang wanita buta duduk di atas bangku kecilnya dengan bakul kecil berisi tisu-tisu di dalamnya..Itulah mata pencariannya..menjual tisu

Pada waktu itu..aku berdiri betul-betul di belakang wanita tersebut..dan hujan pula bakal turun dalam jangka masa terdekat...tetapi aku masih lagi berdiri di belakang mak cik tersebut..dengan niat hendak menyuruh mak cik itu mencari tempat berteduh...as i saw her..she was clueless.. do not know that rain will be poured heavily very soon..

Tetapi..aku dengan bongkaknya masih lagi berdiri teguh tanpa berbuat apa-apa...
Dan nak tahu apa yang aku buat seterusnya??
Aku pergi begitu sahaja!!! what the hell i was thinking??
Being so selfish...and walk away just like that...
Penting sangat ke nak beli makanan tu wahai encik shazwan??

Dan apabila aku singgah di satu gerai..hujan pun mula turun..tersangatla lebat..aku patah balik ke tempat makcik tu..
Mak cik tu tergesa-gesa dalam kebasahan... Ya allah jahatnya aku... nasib baikla ada orang yang baik hati tolong bawakkan makcik tu ke tempat lain..

I try to pretend nothing had happened on that day..i ty to laugh and be normal...but at the same time..i just making fool of my self..i cant stop myself felt guilty...

Itulah hukuman yang aku terpaksa terima iaitu...'rasa bersalah'...
setiap kali aku melihat pengemis atau mak cik buta yang menjual tisu di pasar malam..pasti aku akan teringat akan sikap buruk aku..

If i can tell her earlier...

p/s- Janganlah teragak-agak hendak membuat kebaikan...




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